Month: April 2017

Everyday Hero: This Farmer Killed All His Cows to Help Drop Methane Pollution

Sources report that yesterday morning, Nebraska cattle farmer Pat T. Uvryce decided emphatically to take a stand to protect the environment. After waking up and reading an article on Facebook about how cows produce methane from their digestion process, Uvryce realized that he needed to make change. Rather than just sitting on his couch and eating kale chips, Uvryce took initiative by marching outside and…

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Report: This Congressman Personally Removed All Oil And Gas From Underneath Washita Battlefield And Replaced It With Olive Oil

Cheyenne, OK – In an unprecedented turn of events Monday morning, a multinational drilling company was shocked to find no oil or gas beneath the surface of Washita Battlefield, a historic national park in Oklahoma. A new executive order surfaced this week which could lead to drilling beneath national monuments, conflicting with the Antiquities Act of 1906. Interestingly enough, when drillers investigated the land beneath Washita Battlefield, there…

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Environment Win: This School Made Their Recycling Bin Larger Than Their Trash Bin

Wow! Here’s a story that proves that anyone is capable of being an environmental hero! In a world where so many people never stop to think which bin to put their paper, plastic, and cardboard into, this Delaware elementary school inspired us all. Rather than using bins of equal size, this fine learning institution has made the incredible step of making their…

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Report: Experts Conclude Recent Drop in Bee Population “Really Stings”

In a 118 page paper published in twelve peer-reviewed academic journals, melittologist Dr. Polly Nayte decisively concluded that the recent drop in bee population “really stings.” Her research, which studied 2,000 bee species over a twenty year period, unequivocally suggested that loss of bees is a true stinger for the environment and humanity. “Bees are an absolutely integral…

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Devastating: Charcoal Grill at Earth Day Barbecue Releases Excess Carbon Dioxide Into Atmosphere

April 22, 2017 – Sources report that today wasn’t the best of Earth Days for area man Corey Ander after he allegedly released copious amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere during his Earth Day cookout. Using a charcoal grill, Ander sent around a dozen pounds of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, the equivalent of a 22 mile car drive….

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10 Ways to Disguise a Windmill. Number 7 Will SHOCK You!

With their special ability to create usable energy solely through the power of the wind, windmills have gained huge respect in the clean energy sector. However, only 4% of electricity in America comes from wind power, and even less in Antarctica. After witnessing people’s distaste for cell towers in their neighborhoods, we here at The Sweaty Penguin wanted to make sure people knew that a windmill…

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