With their special ability to create usable energy solely through the power of the wind, windmills have gained huge respect in the clean energy sector. However, only 4% of electricity in America comes from wind power, and even less in Antarctica. After witnessing people’s distaste for cell towers in their neighborhoods, we here at The Sweaty Penguin wanted to make sure people knew that a windmill in their neighborhood doesn’t have to be a tall, ugly structure. Here are ten of our favorite ways to disguise a windmill:
1. An Apple Tree
While people have often tried to hide cell towers in the past with fake tree structures, everyone can always see through it. With an apple tree, however, passersby are consistently fooled because, well, how could you grow apples on a windmill? Every fall, you and your town can gather around the windmill and pick as many apples as you like to make apple pie, applesauce, and apple strudel. Just be careful on a windy day – the tree might hit you in the face!
2. A Giraffe
Due to their long necks and lack of domestication, giraffes prove to be an extremely effective disguise for a windmill. A recent psychological study found that out of 100 people who were shown a giraffe, 89 thought to themselves, “Oh, look, a giraffe!” Only 11 thought “Hmm, I think that is a windmill.” Incredible!
3. The Golden Snitch
Harry Potter fans, we know you saw this one coming! The wings of the golden snitch are perfectly angled to match the blades of a windmill. In fact, disguising your windmill with the golden snitch is a perfect way to turn your windmill from an ugly pillar to a tourist attraction for wizards and geeky college students running around with broomsticks between their legs alike.
4. The State of Alaska
When you look at the state of Alaska, you just can’t help but think, “Wow, that state is shaped perfectly to disguise a windmill.” And you’d be right. If you can get a few of your strong friends together one Sunday afternoon, it is definitely worth a trip out to Alaska to lift the state up out of its tectonic plate and hoist it up on top of your windmill.
5. Mickey Mouse
With perfectly positioned ears and a contagious smile, nobody can disguise a windmill like Mickey Mouse can. After undergoing the painful surgery to remove his ears and stick them into the blades of the windmill, Mickey will be all ready to serve a lifetime as your windmill’s disguise. On top of that, your kids will be thrilled to have a real Disney character sitting in their own backyard!
6. A Ferris Wheel
Due to the spinning nature of a windmill, no disguise is more natural than a big tall ferris wheel. Passengers can hop into a cart and enjoy the ride to the top while your windmill provides electricity for you and your family. And don’t forget, if you charge people for tickets to ride your ferris wheel, the windmill will pay for itself in no time!
7. More Windmills
Wow! Can you spell CREATIVE?! If you don’t want anyone to notice your windmill, just put on three more windmills! Nobody would stop to think “Is that a windmill?” if they are stuck thinking “Is that three windmills?” In addition, the three extra windmills significantly increase the amount of energy your windmill will generate, meaning more phone charging and oven preheating for you and your family.
8. A Cell Tower
If this isn’t an inspirational example of how two negatives can make a positive, then I don’t know what is! By covering up your windmill with a cell tower, you can get yourself both phone reception AND clean energy! On top of that, the blades of the windmill make the cell tower as in style as it gets.
You may have had low expectations of Mario, but this Italian plumber does more than race cars and jump on turtles! Using his iconic mustache, you can make your windmill completely blend into Mario’s face and body. And more importantly, you might be able to teach Mario a thing or two about the environmental impacts of the gasoline he uses to fuel his kart in Mario Kart.
10. The YMCA
Wait, is there a windmill there? Cause I certainly don’t see one! Building a YMCA adjacent to your windmill is truly an honorable way to both commit to renewable energy and give back to your community. Your kids can swim in the pool while you kick back on your couch and gloat about the fact that your YMCA is also disguising a clean energy source that is making the planet a better place.