In a recent survey sent to 100,000 millennials and taken by a whopping 27 of them, The Sweaty Penguin‘s pollsters have found that millennials are extremely excited to have kids for the sole reason of being able to tell them that their generation will have to rise up to fix climate change. These millennials reported a strong desire…
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Twenty-somethings across Europe have been rejoicing after the European Union declared RoundUp, a Monsanto herbicide, is safe and can be left on the market. The herbicide, which contains a weedkiller called glyphosate, was hypothesized to potentially have links to cancer or genetic/reproductive problems. Luckily, the EU’s Committee for Risk Assessment has determined that there is not sufficient evidence to…
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Oh no! Last Friday, a terrifying catastrophe occurred here in Antarctica, where the Svalbard Global Seed Vault was flooded with water and nearly destroyed. The vault, meant to be unlocked in a doomsday emergency, contained some of humanity’s most precious treasures, including seeds to protect the earth’s food supply and memes to protect the earth’s dankness. “When we heard that…
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As more and more people choose to adopt a vegan diet for dietary reasons, animal rights, greenhouse gas produced by agriculture, and many more reasons, we at The Sweaty Penguin felt it would be important to help people taking on this environmentally sustainable diet by pointing out a few of the many misconceptions with regard to veganism. Many foods which…
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If you’ve ever wondered what it means to be a hero, then look no further. This morning, Arizona resident Phil Terr Dwotter announced that for every time somebody made a “yo mama” joke, he would personally march to his backyard and plant a tree. Dwotter plans to stay true to his ambitious pledge until the issue of deforestation…
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Wow! Just this last Friday, the World Wildlife Fund successfully captured a narwhal using its tusk on video with two drones in the Tremblay Sound off of Northeastern Canada. While scientists had previously speculated that narwhal tusks might be used for ice picking or female attraction, this new footage has stunned the entire scientific community. In fact, the tusk…
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In a truly inspiring turn of events today, BlackRock Inc, arguably the world’s largest investment management company, has officially taken a stand for the environment by helping to pass a shareholder proposal at Occidental Petroleum (also known as Oxy) which will require reporting on their climate impacts. And while that may sound like big news, you can forget all of that…
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In a heartwarming gesture this last Monday, a local pig selflessly declared that he would be more than willing to share his vegetables with the entire human community. After hearing that many humans passionately believed that “if you love animals, then why would you eat their food,” he felt a strong urge to demonstrate to the world that humans could eat his…
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After nearly eight years of saying “Nah, I’ll sue them tomorrow, let’s play Super Smash Brothers,” the Indonesian government has now filed a lawsuit against the Petroleum Authority of Thailand with regard to the Montara Oil Spill that occurred on August 21, 2009. Indonesia is asking for two billion dollars to make up for the damage…
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Cleveland, OH – In an amazing display of selflessness, area woman Carrie “Car” Nivore proudly declared that if meat didn’t taste so damn good, she would immediately go vegan. Environmentalists around the world are applauding Nivore’s bold stance stating her utmost intent to pursue a vegan diet and unfortunate inability due to the delicious flavor of meat. “The agriculture industry causes ten percent of global greenhouse gas…
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