In a truly inspiring turn of events today, BlackRock Inc, arguably the world’s largest investment management company, has officially taken a stand for the environment by helping to pass a shareholder proposal at Occidental Petroleum (also known as Oxy) which will require reporting on their climate impacts. And while that may sound like big news, you can forget all of that because BlackRock has also paid to buy AND install a dual-flush toilet at one of the Oxy facilities in Houston, Texas!
Incredible! While some may consider the new climate resolution hope for a larger climate revolution, we here at The Sweaty Penguin are in absolute awe at the dual-flush toilet. With that toilet, Oxy employees in that Houston location will only use 4.5 liters of water to flush solid waste and a mere 3 liters to dispense liquid waste, far less than old toilets. Imagine how much water they’ll save!
Amazingly, Oxy is just one of many businesses that BlackRock could have an impact on. BlackRock has been working on initiatives such as the Task Force on Climate-Related Financial Disclosure, which could spur major change in both the energy companies they invest in and their investment competitors. BlackRock has declared that due to the fast-rising economic impacts of climate change, smart and informed investment decisions are critical to optimizing their portfolio. And with an optimized portfolio, BlackRock can get returns large enough to fund two, maybe even three dual-flush toilets for the companies they hold stock in. Can you spell C-O-O-L?!
But before they start putting pressure on other companies, BlackRock has work to do. First and foremost, Sue from accounting is having trouble figuring out which direction to pull the handle to flush the new toilet. In an interview with The Sweaty Penguin, Sue explained that she is so used to pressing down on her handle at home that she keeps accidentally pushing down on the new handle too. “I’m wasting 1.5 liters of water every time I do that! I am contributing more to global warming than Oxy ever will!” BlackRock also has to buy Oxy a solar-powered wristwatch and a small jug of almond milk.
At press-time, sources report that Oxy had begun working on their first climate report, where they argued that their toilet was so environmentally friendly that it would actually have a cooling effect.