If you’ve ever wondered what it means to be a hero, then look no further. This morning, Arizona resident Phil Terr Dwotter announced that for every time somebody made a “yo mama” joke, he would personally march to his backyard and plant a tree. Dwotter plans to stay true to his ambitious pledge until the issue of deforestation has been completely solved.
“When I found out that humans cut down 7,000-30,000 trees per minute, I was very disappointed. But then I realized, my thirteen-year-old son easily makes yo mama jokes at that pace. With the number of adolescents growing fast, especially with overpopulation, I can surely outpace those tree-cutters,” Dwotter said in an interview with The Sweaty Penguin.
Dwotter’s commitment to replacing toxic carbon dioxide in our air with oxygen will not go unnoticed. If young people can keep churning out profound statements about yo mama that are somewhat correlated to degrading adjectives that probably don’t even describe her, then humanity can say goodbye to the destruction of homes for eighty percent of land species, the transformation of forests into deserts due to lack of trees to return water vapor to the atmosphere, the lack of treetops to reflect sunlight away from the Earth’s surface and keep the planet cooler, and the dwindling of photosynthesis needed to remove greenhouse gasses from the atmosphere.
Keep up the noble work, Phil! We at The Sweaty Penguin will be sure to crack some yo mama jokes to help the environment, and we hope you will too.