Coastal Property Values Skyrocket as Bleached Coral Sculptures Become the Next Big Thing

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Miami, FL – Nothing screams, “I have high flood insurance” like a coastal decor home. Across the nation, millions of Americans are choosing to decorate with organic elements to showcase the beauty of nature on their 50% off HomeGoods tablecloth. Most intriguing of options include that of bleached coral sculptures (now available in Matte Eggshell, White Organic Linen, and High Gloss Cotton).

Luckily, the sale of these one-of-a-kind works far surpass any Etsy Store, largely due to the fact that bleached coral is becoming increasingly frequent in our oceans. In fact, a change in ocean temperature, pollution, extreme low tides, and overexposure to sunlight all cause the algae naturally living in the coral to set sail for smoother waters. In an artistic twist of fate the coral, now without their source of food and color, turn brittle white and become more prone to disease in a process known as bleaching.

In an interview with The Sweaty Penguin, enthusiastic Florida property seller Corey L. Reefe exclaimed, “Once I added bleached coral sculptures to my living room, I suddenly had an endless stream of people interested in my house! 50 people made offers, one person even came in above asking price! Do these people realize that bleached coral is all over the place now?”

At press time, The Sweaty Penguin received word that realtors predict a short lived boom in the coastal housing market before coral reefs go extinct in a couple decades.

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