Report: Indian Forests Don’t Want New Protections if the Air is Just Gonna Smell Like Car Fumes

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Stating regret that the Government of India signed a USD 24.64 million grant agreement with the World Bank to preserve and enhance forests in the states of Chhattisgarh and Madhya Pradesh, Indian forests report that they’d really rather not be protected if the air is just going to smell like car fumes. Despite their determination to reflect sunlight and turn carbon dioxide into oxygen, they just can’t stand the stench of exhaust anymore.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the thought,” explained one tree. “I would love to protect me, and maybe grow some new tree friends. But with all this car exhaust in the air from years of unregulated vehicles, I can barely stand to live here anymore. Maybe they can move me?”

At press time, 25 trees had just collapsed to the ground from heat exhaustion.

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