We Just Found Out the SECRET MENU at the Yosemite Starbucks, And YOU WON’T BELIEVE What’s on It!

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YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK – If you thought Yosemite National Park was a hidden gem in itself, you WON’T BELIEVE the hidden gems inside the Starbucks that just opened there. The new Starbucks location at Yosemite National Park has spurred a nationwide conversation about the relationship between nature and culture, with some praising the Starbucks for helping bring more people closer to nature and others questioning whether the Starbucks defeats the experience of nature and the purpose of preserving the national park. When The Sweaty Penguin reached out to the Yosemite Starbucks, we learned a few tips that you should be sure to try out on your next visit to the national park.

Instead of ordering Tall, Grande, and Venti, try ordering El Capitan!

While Tall, Grande, and Venti are perfectly normal sizes, this Starbucks pays homage to Yosemite’s famous vertical rock formation in an amazing way. If you order your coffee El Capitan sized, the Starbucks staff will haul out a 7,573 foot cup and fill it to the top with delicious espresso. What better way to experience the beauty of nature than actually drinking it? Yum!

Ask for the California Red-Legged Frog Frappuccino!

The California red-legged frog may be a vulnerable, endemic species, but the California Red-Legged Frog Frappuccino is so good that it may just send the Unicorn Frappuccino all the way to extinction. After blending together ice, red cherry syrup, and milk left out on the counter until it turns green, the California Red-Legged Frog Frappuccino beautifully encapsulates the color of the skin of the amphibian who can now only be found in California due to extensive habitat loss. And for 35 cents more, you can sip this fancy beverage through a straw made out of a California red-legged frog’s leg!

Buy a compostable cup, then compost the cup yourself and dump it onto the Pacific Crest Trail!

Talk about bringing together nature and culture! If you ask your barista for the secret compost cup, you can make your landfills one cup emptier by turning your cup into compost and dumping it on the Pacific Crest Trail! While some may call it littering or interfering with nature, you can be assured that nobody can tell the difference between your Starbucks compost and the dirt that paves the all-natural hiking trail.

Like your coffee extra hot? Order it “Wildfire” instead!

To really get your taste buds burning, tell your barista to make your coffee “Wildfire!” Instead of just pouring it from a spout, your barista will wait for one of Yosemite’s seasonal wildfires and use the immense heat to bring your coffee to a nice 400 degrees. While the wildfire will remove dead vegetation from Yosemite and make way for new life, your coffee will receive a warming larger than that of Earth itself! Plus, Starbucks will compliment you with a free Yosemite-sponsored oven mitt to hold your scalding cup.

Get your Bacon Egg & Cheese with a willow flycatcher egg!

Sick of eating chicken eggs all the time? Well at the Yosemite Starbucks, you can replace your chicken egg with the egg of a willow flycatcher on your bacon egg & cheese sandwich! You may have been disappointed to learn that willow flycatchers are federally endangered and had not been seen in Yosemite since 2002, but the Yosemite Starbucks will stop at no lengths to ensure that you can eat an egg from one of the 900-1100 willow flycatcher pairs left in the United States. Talk about working for customer satisfaction!

Pay $20 extra and you can get the ice for your iced coffee straight from the Lyell Glacier!

You’ll thank us for this one. If you slam a twenty dollar bill on the counter, Starbucks will accept your bribe and in return, scrape ancient ice from the Lyell Glacier to create your chilled beverage. Just like an aged wine or cheese, allow the aged ice from the retreating mountain glacier to give your palette a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

How amazing! We at The Sweaty Penguin can’t wait to try these all-natural concoctions and enjoy the amazing sights at Yosemite National Park!

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