5 Stops on the Outer Space Walking Tour

Have you ever wanted to go to space for vacation? We collected 5 must-see space tourism attractions for you!


Need a break from the hustle and bustle of the city and want to see the night sky? Need some space from your family OR maybe you want to take an unforgettable family trip? Go to SPACE for your next vacation! Right now, billionaires Elon Musk and Richard Branson are leading direct flights to space. Don’t even worry about the fact that these flights emit black carbon into the stratosphere, where carbon emissions are 500 times more catastrophic for the climate than in Earth’s atmosphere. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the countdown to your nauseating climb. And once you get to space, there’s SO much to do! We know the absolute absence of light and sound can be overwhelming when building an itinerary, so we went ahead and did it for you.

Here are 5 sights you can’t miss on your next vacation to space!

  1. 1 Darkness

    One unique thing that space offers to tourists is its immense darkness! This complete absence of light is sure to be a hit with the whole family. Sure, some would call it a tourist trap, but even locals love the darkness! How could they not? It’s there all the time! So when you take that trip to space, make sure you fully immerse yourself in this terrifying and staggering darkness. Even fans of light are guaranteed to get a kick out of it!

  2. 2 Gaping crater

    If you decide to visit any giant rocks (which space is famous for), you may get lucky enough to see the popular attraction of the “gaping crater.” Highlights of the “gaping crater” are its gapingness, and its craterness. You can even upgrade your walking-tour experience to get a walking tour inside the crater, which includes slowly descending into the shallow crater and then walking out of it again. General hole-lovers will love this crater experience! Make sure to visit the gift shop on your way out (they sell awesome shirts that say “I Survived The Gaping Crater”) or take a stop at the Crater Café to get a dehydrated snack!

  3. 3 GPS Woman

    Who said celebrity sightings were just for Hollywood? Fly around space long enough and you’ll find the satellite that houses Mrs. GPS Woman! Even better, if you visit her on a Sunday, she’ll take selfies and then tell you how to get home in that voice. She’s a true star, and we don’t mean the flaming astronomical kind that space is known for!

  4. 4 Dying star

    Once you make it up to space, be sure to pay a somber visit to a dying star. This excursion might not be suitable for kids, unless you’re okay with bringing them along to see the dying, exploding corpse of a star on your little vacation. If your kids are mature enough, however, then this is not one to miss. It has the same energy as visiting the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier when visiting D.C., you know? Please keep in mind there are NO BATHROOMS at the dying star so we recommend you relieve yourselves before paying your respects!

  5. 5 The Earth from really far away

    Okay, while everything you can see and experience from space is pretty freaking cool (darkness, rocks, craters, oh my!), probably the most popular stop on any trip to space is when you can look right back down at Earth. You already see this planet every goddamn day, so how exciting is it to look at it from very, very far away? Unless you have the standard Apple Mac home screen of the picture of Earth, this is an image that you’ve NEVER seen! Unless, again, you have that home screen or have ever looked up “Earth” on Google, Bing, or Yahoo.

    We hope you use this list to make your trip to space all the more memorable. The environmental destruction that space tourism causes is NOTHING compared to the fun memories you’ll get along the way!

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Naomi Rubin

Naomi Rubin is a senior at Barnard College from Los Angeles, CA studying film and political science. She is a comedy writer for The Sweaty Penguin and works on podcast episode scripts, website content, and more!


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