The penguin waddled slowly along the vast Antarctic ice caps. A blanket of white snow glistened for miles in every direction, turning shinier and shinier as the snow melted into water and the water evaporated into steam. The sun beamed down onto the penguin’s back, ripping through the thin ozone layer above and heating up the penguin’s black feathers. The air clocked in at a warm 50 degrees Fahrenheit, almost a hundred degrees hotter than the penguin’s preferred temperature. The penguin laid down on the ground in fatigue, and at that moment, three small beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.
At that moment, the sweaty penguin inspired the creation of a new publication, titled: The Sweaty Penguin (note: capitalization and italics). After this extremely newsworthy event, The Sweaty Penguin serves to bring all news from Antarctica or concerning Antarctica (see: environmental issues) to the general public. If there is sweat, there will always be news.
The Sweaty Penguin operates on the belief that satire is a valuable vehicle to indirectly deliver information. The Sweaty Penguin is not by any means an attempt to undermine any environmental issues. Rather, The Sweaty Penguin serves to deliver content that will both entertain and provoke thought, sometimes content inspired by events occurring around the time of publication. The Sweaty Penguin also hopes to help encourage more conversation about environmental issues through sharing articles on social media and indirectly providing conversation topics for readers to discuss with their peers. In other words, by reading The Sweaty Penguin, we hope you will become that annoying person at the party who wants to recycle the red Solo cups. Articles are loosely divided into five categories: News, People, Science, Politics, and Tips.
The Sweaty Penguin operates on the following principles:
- The Sweaty Penguin reserves the right to report on any topic, no matter how unpopular or controversial.
- All articles published by The Sweaty Penguin must have some relation to an environmental issue.
- The Sweaty Penguin will always use invented names in articles, with the exception of notable figures, brands, etc. Otherwise, any use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
- The Sweaty Penguin reserves the right to satirize individuals for their actions that affect the larger community. Otherwise, The Sweaty Penguin will not satirize individuals for any facets of their identity, appearance, or beliefs.
- Articles published on The Sweaty Penguin typically contain a mix of real and invented content, and as a result, no article will be held to any standard of authenticity. As a publication that aims to provoke meaningful discussion, The Sweaty Penguin hopes that readers will research topics further than these articles to better understand the issues at hand. However, The Sweaty Penguin will not deny or pretend to deny any facts proven by the scientific community.
- The Sweaty Penguin does not and will not claim to have the correct solutions for issues discussed. The Sweaty Penguin acknowledges and embraces the fact that all issues can be approached multiple ways, and while an article may reference a particular solution idea, it will not intentionally promote opinions regarding that idea.
- The Sweaty Penguin believes that some things should be made fun of and some things should not. If you have any concerns with content produced by The Sweaty Penguin, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.