thesweatypenguin

Michigan Plans to Pay $600M to Victims of Flint: Settlement to include free shirts, Beanie Babies

The State of Michigan said on August 20th that it had reached a preliminary settlement to pay $600 million to victims of the Flint water crisis. The money would go to small businesses and private citizens affected by one of the worst public health crises in recent memory, kicked off over 6 years ago.  “We’ve…

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Wow! This Local Hero Just Invited All 27.9 Million People in Jakarta to Crash on His Couch When The City Goes Underwater

Angel on Earth Michael Clark has single handedly saved the entire population of Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia.  “Jakarta is buckling due to the increasing extraction of groundwater, and just the weight of all the added people,” said Clark, “It’s the least I could do, really.”  Clark and the 27.9 million people are now…

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Wild Salmon Launch Their Own Airline

North America’s wild salmon have joined forces to launch their own airline to assist with the crossing of dams. One of the trailblazers of the airline, Salmon Pete the Pilot, gave an exclusive interview with the Sweaty Penguin’s team. “Young salmon can sometimes make their way down a dam though not always, but it’s nearly…

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The Sweaty Penguin’s Guide to Procrastinating on Climate Change

Adulting is hard. All of us are guilty of putting off completing a not-so-fun task, no matter how important it is. Here are some fresh tips on how to procrastinate battling the most pressing issue of our day: climate change. 1. Repurpose your plastic straws. Instead of not using plastic straws, how about you reuse…

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The Sweaty Penguin’s Earthquake Survival Guide

As we learned in the Earthquake episode, we need to be prepared for natural disasters as much as we can. Here are a few must-haves that we at the sweaty penguin recommend you have for the next tectonic shift!  Bobblehead: you probably already have a bunch of these on hand. When they nod “yes,” hunker…

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Pop Rocks Replacing Lanthanum With Tellurium, Dropping Rare Earths Use By 20%

In a win for environmentalists and rare earth mineral miners, Pop Rocks announced it would no longer use the metal lanthanum in its products, reducing their use of rare earth minerals by 20%. “Everyday items that are essential to human life like computers, phones, electric car batteries, and Pop Rocks, depend on rare earths,” said…

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Scientists Feed Cows Gas-X, Global Temperature Drops Three Degrees

Last week, American scientists mixed Gas-X tablets in cattle feed. As a result, the global temperature has dropped a whopping three degrees since. “Livestock accounts for around 14 to 18 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions each year, so by feeding them Gas-X for gas relief, we’ve seen the drop as a result,” said head…

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Which Penguin Species Are You?

There are penguin species in all different parts of the world, and now, it’s time to find out which one you are!  

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Health Win: FritoLay Unveils Baked Lead Paint Chips With 50% Less Lead Than the Original Variety

FRITOLAY HQ—In an unprecedented move that has flipped the entire chip industry on its side, FritoLay announced that they would begin baking lead paint chips as opposed to deep-frying them, cutting the lead content in half. “FritoLay is committed to providing healthy, tasty food for young children,” wrote CEO Chip Mann in a press release….

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Nature Is Healing: Yosemite’s Wild Motorcycle Population Returns

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK—Amidst a mountain of sad news sharing the struggle to conserve endangered animals, this story can give us all hope. In Yosemite National Park in California, researchers have determined that the wild motorcycle population is not only stable, but actually thriving! Isn’t that amazing? Through human impacts on the environment, the extinction rate…

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