thesweatypenguin

China Just Built a Solar Farm Shaped Like a Giant Panda. Not to Be Outdone, America Built a Solar Farm Shaped Like Pat Sajak!

Less than two weeks ago, China had completed and turned on their newest solar farm, which they built to look like a 250-acre panda. In addition to shaping the panels to form a panda’s body, China utilized different colored panels to give the stark appearance of the native animal. Not to be outdone, however, the…

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Inspiring: Meet The Bald Eagle Who Grew His Hair Back

Wow! If this news doesn’t spice up your Fourth of July, I don’t know what will! This morning, The Sweaty Penguin received confirmation that a bald eagle in Alaska had, through some miracle of nature, grown his hair back. With a new head of hair, the bird became a new man, flying through the American skies…

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Panicked MasterChef Contestant Has Catastrophic Oil Spill

While cooking a cajun fried chicken entree in her MasterChef debut, Pamela Kukingzprae of Delaware was reported to have a huge oil spill in the kitchen. “I was flipping my chicken in the pan when, all of the sudden, I knocked my elbow into the handle and all of the oil came flying at me,…

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The Sweaty Penguin’s Ten Tips on Safety With Drinking Water

This week, the United States Environmental Protection Agency rescinded the Clean Water Act, aiming to return water regulatory powers to the states. With clean water on people’s minds, we at The Sweaty Penguin have decided to publish our best tips for making sure your water is clean before drinking it. See what color it is. (clear…

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Researchers Are Designing Artificial Clouds to Protect the Great Barrier Reef, And They’re Already on Cloud 9!

Buckle up everyone, because the future is here and it’s AWESOME! After the Great Barrier Reef shrunk by almost two-thirds in the year 2016, researchers at the Sydney Institute of Marine Science have figured out an environmentally friendly way to temporarily protect it. By spraying small salt particles into the air, these scientific vigilantes will…

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Oh Shucks! This Arizona Family Tried to Bake Cookies on the Ground, But The Cookie Dough Vaporized Upon Contact

Phoenix, AZ – Upon news of the weather forecast predicting record-high temperatures in Phoenix, Arizona this week, the Eeyum family decided to try baking cookies on the ground. The father, Barry, had seen a video on Facebook while at work on Monday that showed that if you sit cookie dough out in the sun on a…

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Hey, Babe, Do You Want Me to Recycle This Jar, Or Should I Put It in the Trash And Let It Produce Methane in a Landfill?

Hey, babe, I just finished the mayonnaise. Do we recycle jars, or do we put them in the trash and let them produce methane in a landfill? I know we usually just throw stuff in the trash, but I was just thinking maybe I should recycle this jar. You know, if we send it to…

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Macron Invites American Researchers to Move to France, As Long As They Learn Their Goddamn French First

After America stated their desire to pull out of the Paris Agreement, newly elected French president Emmanuel Macron invited American climate scientists to come to France and pursue their research goals there. As France prepares to welcome researchers with open arms, they do, however, want to make clear that this invitation in no way alleviated…

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Really? New Study Finds Dark Chocolate May Be the Cure to Climate Change? Cool I Guess?

Dark chocolate lovers out there, get ready for some exciting news. This past Monday, an article was published in a scientific journal with the headline “Dark Chocolate and the Environment,” which we at The Sweaty Penguin can only assume to mean that dark chocolate is the new cure for climate change. Yum! The study, sponsored by Hershey’s Chocolate,…

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Documentary Photographer Frantically Herding Penguins to Edge of Melting Ice Shelf So He Can Get a Heartbreaking Picture When the Shelf Collapses Into the Ocean

Calling his vision “epic” and “totally gonna make people cry,” documentary photographer Cameron “Cam” Ruhmann was recently seen herding five penguins toward the Larsen C ice shelf in West Antarctica, which has been breaking off the continent at increasingly quick speeds. The rift between Larsen C and the rest of Antarctica has expanded 11 miles…

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