thesweatypenguin

Random Act of Kindness: This Pig Offered to Share His Vegetables, So You Won’t Be Being Cruel to Animals by Eating Their Food

In aĀ heartwarming gesture this last Monday,Ā a local pig selflessly declared that he would beĀ more than willing to share his vegetables with the entire human community. After hearing that many humansĀ passionately believedĀ that “if you love animals, then why would you eat their food,” heĀ felt a strong urge to demonstrate to the world thatĀ humans could eat his…

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Defendants in Montara Oil Spill Case Argue “But Oil Floats on Water”

After nearly eight years of saying ā€œNah, Iā€™ll sue them tomorrow, letā€™s play Super Smash Brothers,ā€ the Indonesian government has now filed a lawsuit against the Petroleum Authority of Thailand with regard to the Montara Oil SpillĀ that occurred on August 21, 2009. Indonesia is asking for two billion dollars to make up for the damage…

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Real-Life Sacrifice: This Climate Change Activist Would Go Vegan if Meat Didn’t Taste So Damn Good

Cleveland, OHĀ ā€“Ā In anĀ amazing display of selflessness,Ā area womanĀ Carrie “Car” Nivore proudly declared that if meat didn’t taste so damn good, she would immediately go vegan.Ā Environmentalists around the world are applauding Nivore’sĀ boldĀ stance statingĀ her utmost intent to pursue a vegan diet and unfortunateĀ inability due to the delicious flavor of meat. “The agriculture industryĀ causes ten percent of global greenhouseĀ gas…

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Plastic-Digesting Insects Begin Eating People’s Fly Swatters

In very recent news,Ā researchers at Cambridge University have discovered a type of insectĀ which is able to digest polyethylene, also known as plastic.Ā Plastic, a non-biodegradable material, has been piling in landfills andĀ kitchen drawers (in anticipation of partiesĀ requiringĀ red Solo cups) for decades upon decades, unable to decompose and dispose of itself. These insectsĀ – the larvae of wax…

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Everyday Hero: This Farmer Killed All His Cows to Help Drop Methane Pollution

Sources report that yesterday morning, Nebraska cattle farmer PatĀ T. Uvryce decidedĀ emphatically to take a standĀ toĀ protect the environment. After waking upĀ and reading an article on Facebook about how cowsĀ produce methane fromĀ their digestion process, UvryceĀ realized that he needed to make change. Rather than justĀ sitting on his couch andĀ eating kale chips, Uvryce took initiative by marching outside and…

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Report: This Congressman Personally Removed All Oil And Gas From Underneath Washita Battlefield And Replaced It With Olive Oil

Cheyenne, OK ā€“ In an unprecedented turn of events Monday morning, aĀ multinationalĀ drilling company was shocked to findĀ noĀ oil or gas beneath the surface of Washita Battlefield, a historic national park in Oklahoma. AĀ new executive orderĀ surfaced this weekĀ which could lead toĀ drillingĀ beneath national monuments,Ā conflicting with the Antiquities Act of 1906.Ā InterestinglyĀ enough, whenĀ drillers investigated the land beneath Washita Battlefield, there…

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Environment Win: This School Made Their Recycling Bin Larger Than Their Trash Bin

Wow! Here’s a story that proves that anyone is capable of beingĀ an environmental hero! In a world where so many people never stop toĀ think which bin to put their paper, plastic, and cardboard into,Ā this Delaware elementaryĀ school inspired us all. Rather than usingĀ bins of equal size,Ā this fine learning institution has made the incredible step ofĀ making their…

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Report: Experts Conclude Recent Drop in Bee Population “Really Stings”

In aĀ 118Ā page paper published in twelve peer-reviewed academic journals, melittologist Dr. Polly Nayte decisively concluded that the recent drop in bee population “really stings.” HerĀ research, which studied 2,000 bee species over a twenty year period, unequivocally suggested that loss of bees is a true stinger for the environment and humanity. “Bees are an absolutely integral…

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Devastating: Charcoal Grill at Earth Day Barbecue Releases Excess Carbon Dioxide Into Atmosphere

April 22, 2017Ā ā€“Ā Sources report that today wasn’t the best of Earth Days for area man Corey Ander after he allegedly released copious amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere during hisĀ Earth Day cookout. Using a charcoal grill, AnderĀ sent around a dozen pounds of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, the equivalent of a 22Ā mile car drive….

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10 Ways to Disguise a Windmill. Number 7 Will SHOCK You!

With theirĀ special ability to createĀ usable energy solely through the power of the wind, windmills haveĀ gained huge respectĀ in the clean energy sector.Ā However, only 4% ofĀ electricity in AmericaĀ comes from wind power, and even less in Antarctica.Ā After witnessingĀ people’sĀ distaste for cell towers in their neighborhoods, we here atĀ The Sweaty Penguin wanted to make sure people knew that a windmill…

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