News – The Sweaty Penguin

Oil Tycoon Giving Commencement Speech Pledges to Eliminate All CO2 Emissions

CHESTNUT HILL UNIVERSITY—In an unexpected move that left audience members cheering and crying, CEO of multibillion dollar petroleum corporation Igot

Dear Readers, Wow, it’s been a while! Have you missed me? I sure missed you. It’s been a while, and

In a very rare sequence of events, the movie An Inconvenient Sequel managed to perform the unthinkable: flop in the box office,

After a minor blunder where phones burst into flames inside users’ pockets, Samsung is proud to have just received the

BUCKLE UP BECAUSE WE HAVE A CONSPIRACY HERE. YES, AN ALL CAPS, BOLD, UNDERLINED, BIG FONT CONSPIRACY. LISTEN UP GOOD,

SIERRA NEVADA – As of 11:05pm this evening, sources report that Lake Tahoe began to make a whistling sound resembling

Wednesday, probably Silicon Valley or something – Saying they needed something big to get their name back in the media and

Less than two weeks ago, China had completed and turned on their newest solar farm, which they built to look

Wow! If this news doesn’t spice up your Fourth of July, I don’t know what will! This morning, The Sweaty Penguin

While cooking a cajun fried chicken entree in her MasterChef debut, Pamela Kukingzprae of Delaware was reported to have a