Science

Nature Is Healing: Yosemite’s Wild Motorcycle Population Returns

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK—Amidst a mountain of sad news sharing the struggle to conserve endangered animals, this story can give us all hope. In Yosemite National Park in California, researchers have determined that the wild motorcycle population is not only stable, but actually thriving! Isn’t that amazing? Through human impacts on the environment, the extinction rate…

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Environmental Hero: The Moon Just Flew in Front of the Sun to Cool Off the Planet For a Couple Minutes

WOW! If you thought Superman was a hero, then take a step back because this courageous cosmo just saved the ENTIRE PLANET from looming disaster. That’s right. After seeing the Earth heating up for years and years, the moon decided to make a pit stop on its never ending journey around the planet to block…

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Study: Young People Our Best Hope for Conserving Humans

According to a new scientific study published by Boston College students, young people are reported to be the best hope for the conservation of the human species. Citing evidence such as young people living longer than old people and the term millennial implying “able to live an entire millennium,” this new study is said to…

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What Hurts More: A Bee Sting, Or the Knowledge That the Sting Caused the Bee to Die And the Bee Population to Drop Ever So Slightly Which in the Long Run Could Cause the Death of All of Humanity?

To our loyal readers, we pose a deep, scientific question. What hurts more: a bee sting, or the knowledge that the sting caused the bee to die and the bee population to drop ever so slightly which in the long run could cause the death of all of humanity? Let’s break down the arguments. A…

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7 Totally Frickin AWESOME Facts About Cows, And You WON’T BELIEVE What Number 5 Is!

Yesterday was Cow Appreciation Day, and as a result, The Sweaty Penguin mascot, the sweaty penguin, took a break from waddling aimlessly around Antarctica to think about how cool cows are, and you won’t believe the seven facts he came up with. 1. They fart methane. If you thought you were cool, then take a step back…

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Researchers Are Designing Artificial Clouds to Protect the Great Barrier Reef, And They’re Already on Cloud 9!

Buckle up everyone, because the future is here and it’s AWESOME! After the Great Barrier Reef shrunk by almost two-thirds in the year 2016, researchers at the Sydney Institute of Marine Science have figured out an environmentally friendly way to temporarily protect it. By spraying small salt particles into the air, these scientific vigilantes will…

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Really? New Study Finds Dark Chocolate May Be the Cure to Climate Change? Cool I Guess?

Dark chocolate lovers out there, get ready for some exciting news. This past Monday, an article was published in a scientific journal with the headline “Dark Chocolate and the Environment,” which we at The Sweaty Penguin can only assume to mean that dark chocolate is the new cure for climate change. Yum! The study, sponsored by Hershey’s Chocolate,…

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Breaking: New Video Footage Shows Narwhal Tusks Actually Meant For Measuring Lines at the Ocean DMV

Wow! Just this last Friday, the World Wildlife Fund successfully captured a narwhal using its tusk on video with two drones in the Tremblay Sound off of Northeastern Canada. While scientists had previously speculated that narwhal tusks might be used for ice picking or female attraction, this new footage has stunned the entire scientific community. In fact, the tusk…

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Plastic-Digesting Insects Begin Eating People’s Fly Swatters

In very recent news, researchers at Cambridge University have discovered a type of insect which is able to digest polyethylene, also known as plastic. Plastic, a non-biodegradable material, has been piling in landfills and kitchen drawers (in anticipation of parties requiring red Solo cups) for decades upon decades, unable to decompose and dispose of itself. These insects – the larvae of wax…

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Report: Experts Conclude Recent Drop in Bee Population “Really Stings”

In a 118 page paper published in twelve peer-reviewed academic journals, melittologist Dr. Polly Nayte decisively concluded that the recent drop in bee population “really stings.” Her research, which studied 2,000 bee species over a twenty year period, unequivocally suggested that loss of bees is a true stinger for the environment and humanity. “Bees are an absolutely integral…

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