Quiz: How Many Mice Are in Your Walls?

Answer these ordinary questions and we'll tell you how bad your mice infestation is.


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As climate change continues to increase temperatures and cause more temperate winter months in North America, some researchers have now linked global warming to an increase in white-footed mouse populations, causing more stress for homeowners and more work for pest control companies. This leads to the very pressing question at hand: how many mice are inside your walls? Finish this quick ‘science-based’ questionnaire to find out.

  1. 1 What is your favorite animal?

    1. Dog
    2. Cat
    3. Galapagos Tortoise
    4. Mice
  2. 2 What is your favorite food?

    1. Hamburgers
    2. Salad
    3. Mouse food
    4. Sushi
  3. 3 How do you commute to work?

    1. Driving
    2. Bike/walk
    3. Public transportation
    4. Scurry through my little hole in the wall
  4. 4 Choose a first date spot

    1. Bookstore
    2. An old pizza joint
    3. Walk along the river
    4. The dumpster behind a Kraft factory.
  5. 5 Pick a color (this doesn’t influence the answer, i'm just curious)

    1. Red
    2. Blue
    3. Green
    4. Yellow
    5. Mouse color
    6. Purple
  6. 6 What’s your dream vacation?

    1. A mountain getaway
    2. Traveling iconic cities
    3. The moon (billionaire)
    4. The moon (to eat moon cheese)
  7. 7 What sport did you play most growing up (this is based solely on my personal biases don’t choose baseball)

    1. Baseball
    2. Basketball
    3. I didn't play sports/soccer
    4. Football
  8. 8 What is your overall opinion on mice?

    1. Aw! Cute lil guys.
    2. I am screaming and calling someone immediately.
    3. Eh. They don't really bother me.
    4. They are my brethren. Kindred. One day they will rule the world.

Quiz: How Many Mice Are in Your Walls?

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  1. Quiz result

    1 mouse

    You’re doing your part to keep the planet green, and the mice are glad to remain in their natural habitat outdoors. Except for one mouse named Michael. His natural habitat is your walls, but don’t worry, he offered to help with the dishes, and honestly just seems like a pretty chill dude.

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  2. Quiz result

    5 mice

    Not bad! Look, nobody’s perfect. We’ve all got a spare mouse or 5 or a secret white rhinoceros that we keep in our basement, so no judgment here. I would recommend you look into investing in a mouse trap sometime soon though, and investment in green energy is another plus.

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  3. Quiz result

    20 mice

    The mouse invasion is imminent. You have been warned. The Koch brothers are pleased.

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  4. Quiz result

    40,000 mice

    Wow. I mean, you may not be taking special care of the planet, but you are definitely taking special care of the mouse population. Maybe you love these little critters, or maybe they love you, but either way, your house is crawling with furry friends, and you might want to begin peace talks before their society gains nuclear technologies.

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Maxwell Pociask
Maxwell Pociask is a Boston University Sophomore originally from Urbana, Illinois. He is a comedy writer for The Sweaty Penguin, helping to squeeze those juicy little joke morsels into that sweet, sweet, podcast news, baby. Max also publishes articles and other website content for The Sweaty Penguin, drawing on his past experience writing for The Bunion. Max also works as an Opinions section editor for the Daily Free Press, where you can read his column on unique urbanist solutions found in small American towns. He’s had a lifelong passion for building sustainable and equitable communities, and in 2021 hosted a grant-funded arts showcase for students in Central Illinois. Max doesn’t think that pineapple on pizza is all that big of a deal, but hopes you don’t tell Ethan about that.

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