The Sweaty Penguin’s Guide to Procrastinating on Climate Change

Climate change is here right now, and it is only getting worse. Here are some ways you can avoid thinking about that.


Adulting is hard. All of us are guilty of putting off completing a not-so-fun task, no matter how important it is. Here are some fresh tips on how to procrastinate battling the most pressing issue of our day: climate change.

  1. 1 Repurpose your plastic straws.

    Instead of not using plastic straws, how about you reuse them! Maybe you make one really long straw by sticking them together, or maybe you make a whole new piece of art!

  2. 2 Listen to the new Taylor Swift album.

    You’re gonna need something to pump you up when you finally stand up against climate change. What could be better than Taylor Swift’s new folk album, filled with absolute bangers about love, loss, and depression.

  3. 3 Rehabilitate the American Gypsy moth population.

    The earth needs help, but so do the Gypsy moths. Who’s gonna help those poor little quickly multiplying destroyers? You are.

  4. 4 Throwing red meat only dinner parties.

    Who needs tofu when you have hamburgers? you’re gonna need fuel when the time comes for you to start working on global warming. What’s more nutritious? Try it until you get it right, again and again, all day. For you and all your friends!

  5. 5 Sit in traffic.

    What could be more time consuming than sitting in traffic? You could drive up to the Jersey Shore from Philly on a Saturday or even get on the Turnpike South at 5 on a weekday. Extra points if you park your car in the middle of Columbus Circle.

  6. 6 Host a paper plane competition.

    A friendly game with friends all at the expense of only a few trees. Extra points if it’s a tournament.

  7. 7 Start a podcast.

    Because people will definitely listen to it. Right?

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