U.S. Dept of Energy Calls Planet Literally on Fire “Freedom Planet”
WASHINGTON DC—Following last week’s news release where the United States Department of Energy referred to natural gas as “freedom gas,”
Oil Tycoon Giving Commencement Speech Pledges to Eliminate All CO2 Emissions
CHESTNUT HILL UNIVERSITY—In an unexpected move that left audience members cheering and crying, CEO of multibillion dollar petroleum corporation Igot
We Just Found Out the SECRET MENU at the Yosemite Starbucks, And YOU WON’T BELIEVE What’s on It!
YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK – If you thought Yosemite National Park was a hidden gem in itself, you WON’T BELIEVE the
Breaking News: Antarctica Summer Complete, Sweaty Penguin No Longer Too Sweaty to Write Articles
Dear Readers, Wow, it’s been a while! Have you missed me? I sure missed you. It’s been a while, and
Hey, Babe, Do You Want Me to Turn the Air Conditioning Off Tonight, Or Leave It On And Emit Hydrofleurocarbons Into the Atmosphere
Babe? Babe, are you up? … Babe? Oh, you were asleep? Oh I’m sorry, no you can go back to
Mineral Carbon International’s New Plan to Store Carbon Emissions in Concrete Have People Asking, “Wait, But What About That White Concrete Idea?”
The Sweaty Penguin has received reports that Australian company Mineral Carbon International has officially begun work on a new plan
Consumers Angry to Learn There is No Discount on Gold Deposits in Amazon Rainforest if They Have Amazon Prime
After Brazilian president Michel Temer lifted protections on the 46,000 square kilometer Renca reserve in the Amazon which is predicted
I Hugged a Tree, And I Liked It
Taste of her cherry sap stick
Environmental Hero: The Moon Just Flew in Front of the Sun to Cool Off the Planet For a Couple Minutes
WOW! If you thought Superman was a hero, then take a step back because this courageous cosmo just saved the
Letter to the Editor: “Maybe Cat Overpopulation Wouldn’t Be Such an Issue If Cats Weren’t So Mean to Me”
A Letter to the Editor of The Sweaty Penguin from Katherine “Kat” Haityr: So it’s kitten season, and it’s been
